The Flaw of Comparing Yourself to Others
In my old life before my personal growth journey I was a prolific comparer, I compared my achievements and made them smaller in comparison to others, i compared where i went on my holidays, my home, my money situation, my body! all of it I was depressed and always thought my life was small it was boring and compared to others lives, it seemed really crap. Here are a few pointers I learned to do that helped me shift my mindset from lack and low self worth to abundance, self love and contentment.
If you’re lacking contentment, it could be because you’re comparing yourself to others. You’ve been on Facebook, instagram and twitter and seen the pictures of others living their seemingly exciting perfect lives. It only takes a moment to find yourself wishing you had someone else’s career, body, house, or Holiday.
Comparing ourselves to others is a common activity!
But there’s a critical flaw in this mental exercise. You simply don’t have all the information. Someone might have a great body, but they might be seriously ill. That great Holiday might have been paid for with an inheritance after a family member passed away.
A smarter strategy is to compare yourself to your own recent past. How is your figure compared to 6 months ago? How are your finances compared to last year? If you’re making progress, congratulate yourself. Most people aren’t doing nearly as well. They’ve weighed the same 210 lbs. and had the same £1,200 in their bank account for the last 20 years.
If your life isn’t moving forward, then take pause and address the situation.
Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Think about that statement and decide if it resonates with you.
Try these tips to free yourself from unnecessary comparisons:
1. Catch yourself early in the process. As soon as you realize that you’re making comparisons to others, shift your focus to something else.
· You can control your thoughts, so use that ability to your advantage.
2. Remember that the journey is what matters. Everyone is on a journey to learn, create, and become something unique. It’s an individual experience that isn’t impacted by what others are doing or accomplishing.
3. Comparing yourself to others is a game that can’t be won. There are a lot of people in the world. Through sheer statistics, there will always be someone with a more attractive spouse, more money, a better car, or a more interesting life.
· There’s no way to compete with 8 billion people in every aspect of life.
4. Look to your strengths. Comparisons tend to focus on our weaknesses and we usually compare our shortcomings against others. Embrace your strengths and be proud. Now use those strengths to your advantage.
5. List all the things you have. Comparisons highlight the things we lack. It’s much more productive to think about the things you do have. Your mood and frame of mind will be more positive, and you’ll be in a better position to compete and succeed.
6. People only let you see the things that they want you to see. Sure, they’ll let you see their new BMW and the Holiday pictures from the Caribbean. But you’ll never see the tears and fights in the bedroom, or the verbal abuse they take from their mother-in-law. Keep in mind that social media is primarily used for showing the good, rather than telling the bad.
7. It’s just a habit. Our lives are filled with habits, and some of them are harmful. Poor mental habits are restrictive. It’s like trying to going through life with the hand brake on.
Labelling the tendency to compare as a habit has a powerful advantage because we know that habits can be broken.
Comparing yourself to others is limiting and self-defeating. No one can be expected to compare favourably
to the vast number of people in the world. Make an effort to limit your comparisons to your own recent past. Are you making progress or backsliding? If you continue to enhance the areas that are important to you, your life is likely to be fulfilling and exciting!