Disconnection and How to recognise it
Do you know the signs of being disconnected from yourself?
Most of us don’t have a clue.
We spend so much of our time disconnected from how we truly feel, that we have no idea what deep heart and soul self-connection actually looks or feels like.
Part of physical healing, and transforming other issues like depression and anxiety is developing a deep relationship to ourselves.
Being disconnected from our hearts can lead us down so many confusing paths that we wake up and wonder how the heck we ended up there.
Adrenal fatigue, chronic depression were manifestations of my disconnect from myself for many years. My soul. My heart. Not truly knowing fully who I was or allowing myself to be.
My body image issues were also part of the picture of being totally disconnected from my soul and emotions.
So, it’s not a surprise that one of the first things I have clients focus on when we begin working together is self-connection practices.
Many women that come and see me, have been pushing themselves to keep going despite their physical signs, and the emotional stuff that they have been keeping undercover for far too long.
The unhappy marriage that is causing pain, the secret battle she has with her body and food, the way she feels inadequate around others who she perceives as having it all together, not feeling good enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, not fulfilling her purpose and living a life of joy, not moving forward in her business, feeling stuck, lost and unmotivated.
Common Addictive Behaviours for Numbing Out:
We keep busy, drink alcohol, eat food, sugar, compulsively checking Facebook and email, overworking, filling their calendars, saying yes to every request of others, having our mobile Phone glued to our hand, television, shopping, are the other ways this heart and soul level disconnect can manifest.
5 Signs You are Disconnected From Yourself:
Emotional Eating: You eat mindlessly, sometimes compulsively and are unconscious of what you are doing until you empty the bag, container or the biscuit barrel. Sugar is a common go-to.
You feel unsettled: You are irritable, crabby, edgy, depressed, and feel hyper sensitive to what is going on around you. Be it loud kids, the queue's at the shops, little things your partner says or does.
You check out: Go to any of your addictive, numbing out behaviors listed above.
You don’t know how you feel: This is a red flag. You have a sudden shift in your mood that seems to come out of nowhere.
You feel disconnected from others: This is a sure sign you are actually disconnected from yourself.
So, when you notice yourself feeling any of the signs above, what can you do to break these patterns? And why does it matter ?
When we are connected to ourselves, we can show up much more fully and present with our kids, spouse, friends, clients and colleges'. We are better able to be of service to others, we are coming from the divine feminine space rather than the masculine.
When you determine what your coping, and numbing out behaviours are (what you do to disconnect from your painful or uncomfortable feelings) you can then start doing something different to come back to yourself.
Once a habit has been brought to the conscious awareness, it is no longer a habit, but a choice. Instead of going to coping behaviours that aren’t serving your highest good, try adopting a new behaviour.
Here are a few ways:
Meditation and journaling
Movement, go for a walk in nature or do some yoga to get into your body
Prayer (if you are religious) or if not Prayer then deep visualisation of a joyful moment
Do some deep breathing. I call this the take 5 breath. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, and exhale for 5 seconds – do that 5 times.
Connect with someone you love. Hug your child, spouse or pets.
Getting to the root of our tendency to numb out can sometimes take more work than simply implementing these suggestions. Often there is a childhood origin to our coping and numbing out that began in our formative and younger years. Inner child healing practitioners like myself can help you to find the root cause and reframe the emotions attached to it.
Sometimes we can work with the present through some of the above strategies and practices, other times doing some deep therapy with a professional can be most helpful.
When we truly know who we are, and know how to relate to our self in healthy ways, we will be able to have better relationships with others as well.
I hope you will bring awareness to the areas of your life that you disconnect from yourself, and develop soul nourishing ways to stay connected to your heart.